I ain't
by caylender
Summary: We all know what the TMNT are: family, ninjas, turtles, vigilantes... But what aren't they? Four drabbles where a turtle tells us what they aren't.
1. I am not a miracle worker

This is the first of a four part drabble series. Each will be in a turtle's pov.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own them. I never will. However, I do own this...

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(Donatello)

Science is a way to explore the enormity of the world by examining the most minuscule particles without leaving the comfort of you lab. It's something I cannot live without.

Bring the samples to me and I will analyze them! Do you need anything repaired? I'm your turtle! Need a miracle? As you can see I'm not so eager to help now... There may have actually been a time when I would have rubbed my chin and beckoned you to my lab where I would examine the problem. I would have seen what I could easily remedy, what I hoped I could fix, and what would be impossible to do. Then I would have assured you that it would all be fine- I could handle it. I actually believed that for a time.

Why? Why do I now doubt what I once believed in? There are two reasons…

Firstly, I may have just grown up since then. I have seen that some things are out of my control that I cannot preform a miracle. It's just a fact of life.

Lastly and not so straight forward is something I will try to explain. In a lesson, you can learn many lessons: some that the teacher intends you to learn or a subtle lurking truth, your own conclusion. The second reason came from a training session with Master Splinter where I learned something he didn't necessarily intend.

My bros and I were all sparing against Master Splinter. Our objective was to work together in a strategic maneuver to disarm him, simple. However, strike after strike was launched on Sensei with no avail. Finally, Raph grew so impatient that- without a plan or any tact at all- attacked Master Splinter. Raph was disarmed and on the ground within seconds. Splinter was furious. He wasn't angry that we had failed to disarm him, but rather because Raph attacked him in the way that he did- so stupidly. _"Remember my sons, we are **not** impervious. Do not be so rash."_

I remember thinking afterwards that if I could fix it, how aren't we impervious? After a while, it struck me. I will not be able to fix everything. There will be a time when my bros will come to me with a task to vast, too impossible for me. What will I do then? I'm not Houdini. I can't do miracles.

If Splinter drops sand from an hourglass and asks for my assistance, there will be grains of sand still left on the floor. I could spent all my energy and time on the task, but I would not be able to preform a miracle.

When Raph asks me to rid his bike of scratches form his crazy ride the night before, I will miss some. I could develop some sort of impressive, never-failing technology, but there would still be some scratches and no miracle.

When Mikey's blue eyes fill with tears and I need him to smile again like he wasn't hurt, I can't collect everyone of those tears and hide them from the world again. I cannot fully rid him of every hurt; I cannot create a miracle.

When Leo silently and unknowingly begs me to aid him, I can't pick up all the missing pieces that fall out every time he fights with Raph. There will be some cracks left, even after I fill in the missing spots. There would be no miracle.

Maybe I just don't believe in miracles anymore. Maybe I gathered them with a few grains of sand, several blue tears and threw them into a box, which I locked. Maybe I lost the key and just don't remember where I even left that stupid box.

Next time during a fight, bros, remember I can't fix everything. Don't bring me a body that is broken beyond repair or a spirit battered beyond hope. There will be somethings that I will not be able to fix. Remember, I'm just not a miracle worker.

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Have I mentioned that I simply **LOVE **reviews? No? Well, I simply **LOVE** reviews.


	2. I'm not a hero

All right, I'm posting this one a little later than I planned. Sorry about that. Also, thanks so much for the reviews! It means the world!

**Disclaimer: **I case anyone tries to sue me, I do not own anything TMNT related.

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(Michelangelo)

Heroes, everyone has one. Everyone wants to be a hero. I mean how cool would that be? You could jump into some colorful spandex costume to hide your identity, save the day, and get a kiss from the seriously hot damsel in distress…Sure everybody has thought about it…Everybody has dreamed about it. Every just wants to be one.

I love superheroes. I love everything about them from their sweet costumes, killer gadgets, and shelltastic catch phrases. When I read comic book after comic book, I still can't get enough of them.

A while ago at one point, I planned for my bros and I to take on super hero names and costumes. I guess that was stupid of me, seeing that my bros would never want to be called something like "Turtle of Steel" or "Turtle of the Night".

Maybe some of you, dudes and dudetts would consider me a hero. For those of you, you're really in the wrong. I'm not even close to being a hero. I just do heroic deeds; I make sacrifices. I haven't really considered myself a hero since the fight.

It was a cold night In September. We were heading back to the lair fro April's place. Everything was quiet- as in **way too quiet**. Just about now, you can que the early "dun-dun-dun". It was quiet enough that you could hear a woman's shrill screaming. We hurried to the alley to help. We donned on our figurative capes.

I can remember how we easily jumped into the alley to save the poor woman. It would have/should have been an easy thing. However, when we were just arriving the Purple Dragons were just leaving. She was sprawled out on the ground, and it was too late for the woman.

Why that particular night? That particular person? I mean it's not like I haven't seen anything like that before. I cannot tell you why but there are nights when I wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming of that night. I can see the moon lite shining on the lifeless woman. Leo and Don must have told me a million times that it wasn't our fault and these thing do happen. As Raph put it, "shit happens". But that night showed me that no one could ever save everyone.

I'm not trying to be a hero because I've stopped trying to be one since that night. Maybe I'm just trying to redeem myself- get that woman's blood off my hands. Whatever I'm trying to do or be, I'm not trying to be a hero. Heroes are invincible. They save everyone. They don't make mistakes.

_A man looks up at my shadowed silhouette. "Thank you-thank you sir! You're a true hero!"_

_I sigh and shake my head. "I'm afraid I'm not, dude."_

Like Raph once said, "We are ninjas; we strike hard, defend and protected, and fade into the night." There's nothing about heroics in there. I'm a shadow…I don't even have a cape, just a mask…I'm only green...I cannot save everyone like a hero should be able to...So I'm not a hero.

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I know it's a little dark for Mikey. Anywho, anyone who reviews gets an invisible blueberry!


	3. I am no teen

Here's the next chapter! I was going to post this one a few days ago, but my internet was down so here it is now.

**Dislaimer: **I do not own anything TMNT related!

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_(Leonardo)_

_Lollypops, chocolate bars, bright obnoxious colors, red glittery bouncy ball, finger painting, crayons, milk and cookies, owies, and a lot of woops!_

A while back Mikey tried to determine what made a kid a kid. He came up with the kid-list before some other thing became more important and the kid-list was soon forgotten by him to be never completed. However that list was never forgotten by me. I have to admit, the kid-list just plainly bothers me for many reasons.

The only thing about the list that I actually agree with is the 'woops'. How many times have you seen a kid make the 'woops face' right after they made a mistake and realize that they're in trouble? That's the thing with kids; they may make more mistakes than adults, but the mistakes are minor in comparison and don't cause as much trouble.

One thing Mikey did not add to his list is responsibility. When you are little, you might be in charge of making your bed or cleaning your room or not picking on your brothers… When you're a kid or even a teen, do you think you are told that you are in charge of your brothers? That **you** must protect them? Lead them? Console them? Control them? …Any mistakes that are made are on **your **head...You are responsible for everything! And perfection is **expected **from you! If any one of them is injured, **you are at fault**... But it's not going to come down to that because nothing will happen as long as I am there... Anyways, who am I kidding? No one would ever put something like that on someone's shoulders.

A part of me wants to help Mikey with his kid-list, but I can barely remember a time when I could do anything childish without thinking of my leadership duties. I guess ever since I was appointed leader by Master Splinter, I've had to grow up. It honestly stinks; I hate having to act the adult when I should be acting a teenager. If I let up, do you think my brothers will still respect me? No! I know Raph jumps at the chance to challenge every decision I make. It just doesn't work like that. If I back down just once, my leadership will be compromised constantly or at least more than usual. I can just imagine what that would be like.

_ 'Alright, we should stop at April's before we-'_

_'No, Fearless Leader! We should stop after!'_

Yes, it wouldn't go very well... Getting back to that kid-list, I do feel like acting like Michelangelo from time to time. But whenever I feel like doing something that seems irresponsible, I force myself to practice a kata. Oddly, my brothers think that I enjoy constantly practicing, but that's not necessarily true. The only thing I enjoy is that by practicing I will be a better leader for them.

Next time Mike wants me to save the day with his "action figures", I will probably say "no". When Don asks me to watch the newest science fiction film with him, I will most likely say "not now". I guarantee, I will refuse to go on a joy ride with Raph. It's not that I don't want to, but I can't. I'm the leader now, and I have certain responsibilities. I just feel older now. I mean, I am not a teen.

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Hmm, I'm still not content with this one...but anywho, I still enjoy reviews!


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